hope you don't mind

I've often used this blog as a place to vent or pout or just get something out there. Kinda like talking to your best friend. Often, you might just talk about all the crappy things (i.e. how your spouse is driving you crazy) when in reality most of the time you are OK/ things are OK. So take things with a grain of salt.

So the things going OK: I did 10 miles of the mini Indy on Saturday. I really wanted to do the whole course, but after the c-section and how hard it was to get active again, I gave up the dream. But since I couldn't sell my entry (it's $50!) I thought I might as well do the 5K. So, I trained for 2 weeks to get up to the pace I needed to walk at to not get picked up on the slow bus. I even got up early a few days before Jake got up and did the whole 5K to make sure I could do it. Yay for me! Well, anyway, apparently I didn't do something right at the actual race, because we missed the turn off for the 5K and ended up 3 miles into the 13 mile course. I felt great, so I said, lets just keep going and cut a corner somewhere. So we ended up skipping the race track (about 3 miles) and finished with a pace around 3.8 MPH for the 10 miles. I can't tell you what a kick I got out of this. Next stop - running a half marathon ! I'd like to get ready for the one in Chicago in August.

It was weird being away from Jake so long - or better yet, not having my eye on the clock plotting out the hours of my morning. It was nice to be able to do something like this. I hope my baby was OK with me being gone. I think he is used to hanging out with Dad by now. Am I bad mom for not missing him terribly? I kind of feel like it. I get the sense that other moms wouldn't leave their newborn for 6 hours. I wonder what's wrong with me sometimes.

Jake has been averaging 4 hour stretches at night and did 6 hour stretches on Friday and Saturday. I was so excited that we are making this progress. Last night he was up every 3 again, and I was pretty frustrated. I just have to keep reminding myself today is another day...

Last vent before Jake ends his marathon nap... I took him to the outdoor mall today since the weather was perfect. I could not find a pair of pants that fit me. The one size (which would have been too big pre-preg) was too tight and the next size up was too big. All my weight is in my belly, as usual. I seemed to have hit a plateau and my shape hasn't changed much in weeks. Not being able to find good fitting/comfortable pants is an awful thing. It's been a problem for me for the 2 years before I got pg and now it's just in a new size range. I just don't have much hope that I am going to be able to lose the weight and I am pretty down in the dumps. I've been walking for 3 weeks have done 20+ Wii workouts and just started Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. I was hoping for some results.

Thanks for listening! I am very blessed and I know this... just venting a little today.