I started reading some books on how to be a good parent to a toddler and it describes the toddler years as "the best of times, the worst of times"
I think I am kind of get this now. I've been pretty down this whole weekend. Jake has suddenly started hitting me, swatting at my face, and beating at my head with a block. He'll be all excited to see, run over and grab my hair and trying to hit my face. Despite being firm and expressing how bad this is, he just laughs and keeps doing it.
I also spent an hour with him at school on Friday. He is not very nice to his friends. His teachers always tell me what a good kid he is, but I guess I don't know what to think.
I'm pretty sure what he is doing is age appropriate and I need to read up more to learn how to handle it. My biggest dream for Jacob is that he grows up to be a nice, respectful boy who treats others well. I guess I don't get to just click my heels to make this happen. It will take work.
Meanwhile, I feel like such a jerk because I don't really spend too much time thinking about his sister/brother to be. I do listen every night with doppler, and I think about being pg all the time. I'm just not excited like I was for Jake. I guess i am very excited to have a new baby, just maybe not a baby and a toddler at the same time. I'll have to see how I feel in a few weeks. Maybe this is normal. Sorry baby...
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2 comments:
When Duncan was born, I didn't really feel all that attached to him for a while. I didn't KNOW him at all, and he didn't DO anything yet. Meanwhile Grayson was still doing all sorts of cute things. I felt bad. I think you forget how one-sided the first couple months are when you are just feeding, changing, holding, and not getting anything in return. When the smiles start and the baby actually seems to like you makes a huge difference. And I'm thinking that you don't really like them equally all that often, but the scale tips back & forth between them often enough that it all evens out in the end. Note, I said "like" not "love"... two totally different things, especially with a 2/3 yr old. And I feel like I'm always thinking of the baby in terms of how his brother was at that age because that's the only other baby experience I have.
aw I'm sure that's normal...and I'm sure Jake is going to be a gentleman when he grows up because he has you and Matt for parents!
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